BLUE IS FOR BOYS 1984 Album

 “Hi-jinks in an all-gay college dorm.”

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SEE the 1988 NYC production HERE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7QNPI71b5k Alas, I had to block this video because one cast member objected to its being shown.

HEAR ME SING 10 songs from the musical version HERE: http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=%22robert+patrick+song%22+%22Blue+Is+for+Boys%22

Here are stills from the Fifth Estate Theatre, Los Angeles.

Plus stills from 3 other productions.

followed by selected song lyrics from the musical version.

This, the first play about gay teenagers, was twice awarded

Proclamations

by the Borough President of Manhattan.

[Clickable thumbnails of all slideshow photos follow the lyrics.]

SONGS:

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

SELECTED SONG LYRICS FROM ACT ONE

YOUR LIFE DOESN’T START TOMORROW

Sung by:

Housemaster Pro to The Boys.

VERSE:

Even on their worst day,

With one belief they’re rife:

“Tomorrow is the first day

Of the rest of your life.”

They’ll think that I’m a jewel

Once they’re out in that jungle gym,

But now they call me cruel

When I cry out to them:

CHORUS:

Your life doesn’t start tomorrow,

Like all pop philosophers say.

The world is like crabgrass,

Just waiting to bind.

If you keep playing grab-ass,

All you’ll get is behind.

You never can beg, steal, or borrow

A minute you lose on the way.

Hold onto your crotches.

Just sit there and scoff.

The hands on your swatches

Aren’t just jerking off,

For life doesn’t start tomorrow.

You’d better start working today!

Your life ooesn’t start tomorrow.

That rumor got started somehow.

Those sunny showstoppers

In big Broadway shows

May fool teenyboppers,

But not us old pros.

You’re all gonna learn to your sorrow

That play doesn’t end in a bow.

Get off of your fanny.

Get out of your fog.

Go strangle that Annie

And poison her dog!

For life doesn’t start tomorrow.

You’d better start living it now!

*********************

WHEN HE PUTS HIS HANDS IN HIS HAIR

Sung by:

Craig

(Ritter)

BOTH

VERSE:

He always jumps on  me

(He only looks at me.)

He always dumps on me.

(Over his books at me.)

He’s aware

that he’s superb

and puts me down.

(He doesn’t care

that I want to verb

his adjective adjective adjective adjective noun.)

CHORUS I (Ritter):

(When he puts his hands in his hair,

it’s more than a man can be expected to bear.

Everyone knows what everyone knows,

and everyone knows how much I want one of those.

When he puts his hands on his hips,

I splinter and enter a total eclipse.

I wonder if something would occur over there

if I put my hands in my hair?)

CHORUS II Craig:

When he puts his hands in his hair,

he’s so irresistible, it just isn’t fair.

Everyone’s got what everyone’s got,

so what keeps him cool when he’s got me so hot?

When he runs his tongue through his lips,

he knows my composure goes and self-respect flips.

He’s so goddamned arrogant he just doesn’t care

how he puts his hands in his hair.

CHORUS III (BOTH):

WHEN HE LOOKS AS ANGRY AS THAT,

HE THROWS SUCH A MONKEY WRENCH IN MY THERMOSTAT.

EVERYONE KNOWS AND EVERYONE SMIRKS.

EVERYONE SEES HOW MUCH HE GUMS UP MY WORKS.

THIS LOVE STUFF IS REALLY A HYPE.

I’VE SHOWN IT AND BLOWN IT. I’M JUST NOT HIS TYPE.

IF HE HAD HALF A HEART HE COULDN”T KEEP STANDING THERE.

HE’D COME AND PUT HIS HANDS IN MY HAIR.

**************************

YOU NEVER GET OVER THE MAN YOU DIDN’T GET UNDER

Sung by:

Boy’s Quartet to Pro

VERSE:

It’s an axiom of maxi mum exactitude.

You are haunted by the ghost you didn’t lay.

It’s the queen you bolted from that’s got you royally screwed.

You’ll be grim about the times you weren’t gay.

(Weren’t gay)

A dip you skip fIips your ship just Iike a storm a-sea,

And you never can say “Thank you,” to someone you didn’t please.

Ev’ry missed performance torments you enormously,

Like that sweet Alkibiades’ body’s teasing Socrates.

(‘Cause)

CHORUS:

You never get over the man you didn’t get under.

You’re always bent for the bow you didn’t take.

It’s the one you never knew that makes you wonder.

And you don’t get past the pass that you don’t make.

The serious one is the one you wouldn’t clown with.

You can’t spit out the one you didn’t chew.

You don’t get up from the one you don’t get down with.

That’s the one you couldn’t swallow eat in’ you.

Oh, you’re never done with the man you didn’t do.

VERSE II:

Oh, it’s terrible, unbearable, but must be borne.

Every bait you don’t bite locks you in its jaws.

There’s a force traps, in the virgin’s lap, the unicorn.

If you don’t take it in hand, it gives you pause.

(You pause)

You will never live it down if you don’t live it up,

And the one you won’t lay high e-ven-tu-al-ly lays you low.

There’s a fall for fools who fail to fill the’ loving cup.

How Tomasso Cavalieri wearied Michelangelo!

(Oh)

CHORUS II:

You never get loose from the one you didn’t get limber.

It’s the one you muff that leaves you with a miff.

You never forget a night you might remember.

If you leave uptight, you stay soft on the stiff.

You’ll be knocked out by the one that you don’t hit on.

The blow you duck is the one you’re stuck on hard.

You can’t stand up from a fence you didn’t sit on.

The moon you won’t moon at is so ill-starred.

For the man that gets away there’s no reward.

(You know that)

CHORUS III:

You never get off of a trip you didn’t get on.

You never get out if you were never in.

The blast you don’t set off is the one you’re set on.

We whimper for the bang that might have been.

If you don’t get in the swim, you’re wimpish, wettish.

It’s an amateurish drama you’re in, Pro.

The fling you never flung becomes a fetish.

We:’re young and innocent enough to know:

The man-you-got-away-from never lets you go.

CHORUS IV:

Intellectuals learn the lesson everyone did:

You can’t come free from a trap you don’t release.

You can’t undo the flies you never undid,

And a missed pass never gives you any peace.

You-must-Iearn a man who’s laid-back doesn’t lie, but

He isn’t prone for argument with you.

What he’s selling you may well choose not to buy, but

If you leave him lay, don’t ever say you’re through,

For you’re never done with the man you didn’t do.

***********************

GALWAY’S SONG

I am the very model of a modern homosexual.

I’ve analyzed with expertise the problems that perplex you all.

I’ve sat up late assimilating massive sociology,

And done my best ingesting EST and Renaissance astrology

To come up with a model which will practically idealize

My type into- an archetype that I concretely realize.

By any means you measure me,

It cannot help but pleasure me

That to an absolute degree that’s Ii’ble to perplex you all,

I am the very model of a modern homosexual!

In spite of all the decadence my ambiance is swimmin’ in,,

I do not show a facet that is even slightly feminine.

I will not have chiffon in my immediate vicinity.

The only ring I wear, I wear upon my masculinity.

I pay my body-building gym a pretty penny annually.

The only thing I drink is beer, in cans I rupture manually.

Oh, I could show a lot of queers,

But I don’t know a lot of queers.

A paranoid philosopher who thoroughly suspects you all,

I am the very model of a modern homosexual.

I flaunt the signs of normalcy that normal persons recognize.

So strict is my behavior that it easily would mechanize.

All Judy Garland and Bette Midler records I would relegate

To have them shattered on the head of any liberal delegate.

I do not gossip of careers of any female thespian,

And I’m as good at carpentry or plumbing as a Lesbian.

I’d like to throw a tangelo

At Wilde and Michelangelo.

In that I thoroughly detest each interest that connects you all,

I am the very model of a modern homosexual.

And when it comes to my love life, I certainly discriminate.

For anyone who wants me I am sure must be effeminate.

I have a list of requisites I constantly disseminate,

But lovers meek enough to yield to that, I must eliminate.

If any men rate me a “ten” I normally rate them an “eight,”

And I men who admit that they were even born of women hate.

My intimate relations are

As cold as those of nations are.

As one who proves he’s modern by the way that he rejects you all,

I am the very model of a modern homosexual!

*************************

BEAUTIFUL BUT DUMB

SUNG BY:

BLIMP

CHORUS I:

All my life I’ve wanted to be

Beautiful but dumb,

Just another vapid booby,

Beautiful but dumb.

How I long to see the stunning.

Mortarboards cast off and running

Coming just to see me sunning

In my minimum.

If I ever make a killing,

Then I will endow

Any wonder-worker willing

To make me a wow!

I will .give a million dollars

To a school for plastic scholars

If a taxi-driver hollers

Yum, yummy-yum-yum,”

And proves to me I’m beautiful but dumb.

CHORUS II:

All my life I have been treated

With the best respect.

On a pedestal I’m seated

For my intellect.

Now I want to be a phony,

Showing off my best baloney,

And instead of ceremony.

Pandemonium. .

How I’m longing to bewilder

Everyone I know .

As a bawdy bodybuilder,

Gilded head to toe.

From Taiwan to Tijuana,

Fellas go for foolish fauna

Like Matt Dillon and Madonna

To the maximum.

If you’re smart the fellas scorn ya.

If with muscles you adorn ya

You can be like California:

Truly cooly beautiful but dumb.

CHORUS III:

I’m a guy who has the wisdom

when he sees the light

to come out and say I is dumb

and set things to right.

My desire’s to be tres chi-chi,

drinking Perrier and Vichy —

’til a monied Maharishi

orders vintage Mumm!

All my life I’ve been discreetly

dying by degrees.

You can have my life completely

and my prospects, please!

Being brilliant takes some doing.

But I’ve learned from MT viewing

that becoming worth pursuing

just takes chewing gum

and wisely being beautiful but dumb.

*******************************

SOMEONE BETTER THAN ME

SUNG BY

Pro

VERSE:

It’s the rage in this age of low ideals

To settle for something gross.

The men that come in have no ideals

And I’d never let one of thern close.

If I find a mind like Wilde or Rimbaud

And a wit like Whitman or Crisp

And a soul as whole as Coward or Cocteau

Then I won’t care

If he’s missing hair

Or makes epigrams with a lisp.

You all go dotty

For a body,

But I can smell a gent’s

Intelligence.

CHORUS:

I’m in love

With the idea of

Someone better than me.

My young lust

Is held in trust

For someone better than me.

True enough,

It’s not too ‘tough:

I’m tempted infrequently.

But I am sure

I’ll have allure

For someone better than me.

Am I smart

To save my heart

For someone better than me?

I’m a wiz;

Perhaps there is

No one better than me.

Maybe I’m

The top of my time

And he’s a fantasy.

Oh, what pain

If I wait in vain

For someone better than me.

The rest are obsessed with the mating game

And they never will graduate.

Golly gee, look at me in my waiting game

Where I’m perfectly glad to wait. .

For I know there’s a beau who’s questing for me

Like a knight or hero or old

He’ll remain there tralnlng and testing for me

Till he’s convinced

He’ll prevail against

My prevailing climate of cold.

He’s such a zonker

He can conquer

His greatest enemy:

My virginity.

Oh, what nerve.

Do I deserve

Someone better than me?

Won’t he suss

That I’m a wuss

Because he’s better than me?

That can’t be so,

Because I know

How lonely he must be.

And if that’s true,

Perhaps I’ll do

To keep him company.

And we’ll meet minds

Until he finds

Someone better than

Someone better than me.

**********************

IT TAKES ALL KINDS

SUNG BY:

Stephen

(Provost)

BOTH

VERSE:

Provost, don’t start on the boys.

Provost, you’re too hard on the boys.

Let me relieve you.

I believe you

Need an overview,

A four-leaf clover view.

CHORUS:

It takes all kinds

To make the world go.

That’s how it’s whirled so

Around and around.

It takes all kinds

Of all dimensions

To keep up the tensions

And make it go ’round,

Large and small alike,

To hate us and love us.

Were we all alike,

There’d only need to be one of us.

One and all finds,

With contemplation,

Each variation

Somewhere is found,

And though it aches small minds,

Fate makes all kinds,

It takes all kinds

To make this old world go ’round.

VERSE II:

(Stephen, I’m sure that you’re right.

I just can’t endure that you’re right.)

How can I sway you?

(Well, I’d say you

Shouldn’t so simplify.

Try to exemplify.)

CHORUS II:

It takes daughters

Of revolutions,

And Rosicrucians

To make it go ’round.

It takes plotters,

Pawns and protestors,

And polyesters,

Trousered and gowned.

(Astrophysicists

To learn about star life.)

Aphrodisicists

To liven up the late night bar life.

Hey, the water’s

Bubbling and brimming

Ready for swimming.

Why stay aground?

(I think you’re finking,

But I Iike your thinking.)

IT TAKES THE WHOLE STINKING

LOT TO MAKE THE WORLD CO ‘ROUND!

CHORUS III:

(It takes canny,

Sly politicians

To get oppositions

Up off the ground.)

It takes many

Righteous religions

And all their pigeons

To rebuff and rebound.

(It takes leaders

To goose up the shirkers.)

It takes Peters

TO WISE UP PAUL AND ALL HIS WORKERS!

DON’T TAKE ANY-

ONE AS AUTHORITY.

THE SMALLEST MINORITY

MAY SOMEDAY ASTOUND

(And prove that it kind of works)

In spite of all kinds of quirks.

IT TAKES ALL KINDS OF JERKS

TO MAKE THIS OLD WORLD GO ‘ROUND!

CHORUS IV:

IT TAKES BOSSES

TO MOLD AND MANAGE

AND TAKE ADVANTAGE

AND MAKE IT GO ‘ROUND—

CROOKS AND CROSSES,

SINGLE AND DOUBLE,

WHO TAKE THE TROUBLE

TO BE RENOWNED.

(It takes starters,

To get it all moving.)

It takes martyrs

To point out where it needs improving.

TAKE YOUR LOSSES,

WE’RE ALL BEGINNERS,

LOSERS OR WINNERS,

HONORED OR DOWNED,

WHEN ALL’S SAID AND DONE WE’VE GOT,

TO HAVE ANY FUN, WE’VE GOT

TO HAVE EVERYONE WE’VE GOT

TO MAKE THIS OLD WORLD GO ‘ROUND.

TAG (FROM BREAK):

It takes scanning

(and someone to philosophize.)

It takes planning,

LET’S HEAR IT FOR HADASSAH, GUYS!

IT TAKES LOONEY

ACTORS AND COMICS.

PERHAPS REAGANOi\IIICS

WILL SOMEDAY ASTOUND

AND TURN OUT TO BE CLEVER.

GIVE UP ON IT NEVER,

BECAUSE IT TAKES EVER’-

ONE TO MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND!

TAG II( FROM BREAK):

(Fate even makes a few

Austere intellectuals.)

Why, it even takes a few

Masquerading heterosexuals.

LET’S WORK SLOWLY

FOR SOME IMPROVEMENT.

CIRCULAR MOVEMENT

NOWHERE IS BOUND,

AND THOUGH IT SHAKES YOU

IT STILL SORT OF MAKES YOU,

FOR IT EVEN TAKES YOU

TO MAKE THIS OLD WORLD GO ‘ROUND!

****************************

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT ME

Sung By:

Steven

VERSE:

This world’s too wicked for me.

I’m a fake and they adore me,

and I really feel it when I’m in your sightlines.

I’ve so obviously awed you

and I hate so to defraud you

that I play along and only say the right lines.

You’re a swell guy and I wouldn’t want to hurt you,

but you see me so imbued with every virtue.

I’ve been living on my image.

Now I’m in a moral scrimmage.

Plato said we should be what we wish to seem.

Everything that you find in me

makes you blindly want to win me

and it looks like I’ve been cooked by your esteem.

CHORUS I:

How can he be

in love with me?

Oh, can’t he see

beneath my cover?

Why don’t I go.

so he won’t know

I’m just so-so,

and not his lover?

‘Cause there’s an image in his eyes,

so good and wise,

I realize

I like to see.

One for the books:

it’s not the way he looks.

I just love the way he looks at me.

CHORUS II:

Is there a way

That I can stay

And feel okay

To let him love me?

Can I come through

And live up to

That deja vu

That he has of me?

That paragon so brave and strong

Who’ll right each wrong

I’ll play along

And try to be

So I won’t dim

The way I look to him

‘Cause I’d love to be the man he seems to see.

God knows, gadzooks,

It’s not the way he looks

But the lovely way he looks at me.

********************

YOU CAN BE HAD

Sung by: GALWAY

I have your number.

I have your name.

I’ll have no slumber

‘Til I have you aflame.

I have a record

Uncheckered,

A list

With a twist you can add.

I hear the drums.

When the time comes,

You can be had.

You can be certain.

You can prepare.

Your final curtain

May be up in the air,

But its descending

Is pending.

The second is reckoned,

My lad.

I like a cinch,

And in a pinch,

You can be had.

And the moment will be so sweet,

Or sweet and sour,

When my little cream

gets under steam

And you’re under my power

Under a shower!

All of these fellas

Think love is a game.

They’d be so jealous

If they had my aim.

I find their cruising

And choosing

And using

And losing

So sad.

You can go now

That I know how

You can be had.

CHORUS II (FROM BREAK):

And why do I want you so?

Oh, why do you care?

The moment is timed.

You’re gonna get climbed

Because you are there.

There, there, there.

You can be easy.

You can be hard.

You can be sleazy.

Your door can be barred.

You can be stupid

To cupid,

A blunder-

Ing shy under-

Grad.

You can be coy,

But oh, my boy,

You can be had.

Though you be

Dubi-

Ous of me,

Above me

As astronauts, tad,

What man can believe,

Man can achieve:

You can be had.

You can be mad or sad or glad,

You can even be bad,

But you can had.

Oh, you can be hid,

But you can be had!

*********************

YOU OUGHT TO BE LOVED

Sung by: CRAIG to himself

VERSE:

You were simply

A pimply

Kid,

‘Tit puberty did

What it did

And hid

That frumpy,

Dumpy

Teener

Under this divine demeanor.

Now only a model

Of a god’ll

Do

To pose for you.

It’s true,

It’s true.

But strictly on the q. t.,

There’s a bore beneath your beauty.

This may pique you,

But it must strike you:

You’re more G.Q.

Than you are I.Q.

Still –

CHORUS:

You ought to be loved

Whether they like you or not,

You beauty.

You ought to be loved,

By someone new at every go.

Who could deserve your favor,

How could they win it?

What would they do

To earn such a treasure like you?

Climb up a steeple,

Make the cover of People.

Once you get a start,

You’ll stop the planet,

You’ll stop the clock,

True beauty.

You’ll have to be stopped.

You’ll start a riot.

You’ll start a war.

It’s such a burden.

Just say the word In’

Take it from me,

A thousand millionaires will send you their car.

You’re to be fought for,

You’re to be coveted.

You’re to be bought, for

Here’s the gist of it, kid:

Like very few ought,

You ought

To be loved,

Whoever you are.

********************

I WANNA MAKE LOVE TO YOU

SUNG BY: RITTER

VERSE:

You were a hackneyed,

Acned

Kid

TilI Puberty did

Up your id,

Got rid

Of that bumpy,

Lumpy

Cover,

And left you my ideal lover.

That you would blossom

With that awesome

Glow,

Who could know?

You were so

Oh, you know..

But you’ve come into your season,

And you’re fucking up my reason.

Your sweet bouquet

Has got me k.o.’d.

That’d be O.K.,

But there’s no payload.

I’m what they’re all after,

But I only raise your laughter.

As all men lust for

The thing least likely,

I live just for

You to like me.

Of all men most accursed,

How happy I could be,

If our. places were reversed

And I was doing to you what you’re doing to me,

For –

CHORUS:

I wanna make love to you.

I wanna be one with you.

I wanna be in your heart

For a start.

I wanna make love to you.

I wanna make mush of you.

I wanna have fun with you.

I wantcha to fall down flat,

Ecstatic that

I wanna make love to you.

If there’s a God, and he’s good,

He’ll do this for me:

Make you adore me

Like you should.

So come on and do your worst.

I’ll never be done with you.

And after we’ve done our best,

1 wanna rest.

Then I wanna make love to you.

We don’t always get what we want.

But I wanna make love to you.

TAG (FROM BREAK):

You make it seem it’s just a dream

You’d ever take me.

Don’t ever wake me

If it’s true.

I wanna get down with you,

And when everything goes boom,

I wanna be at your side,

Satisfied.

1 wanna make love to you.

We don’t always want what we’ve got,

But I’ve gotta make love to you.

*******************

EVEN STEVEN

Sung by: The Dorm Boys

DUM-DUM-DUM-DUM

Even Steven

Turned out to be crummy.

You thought he was a dolly.

Bet you feel like a dummy.

John and Jimmy just wouldn’t do.

Now look what Steven’s doin’ to you.

DUM-DUM-DUM-DUM

Even Steven

Talked sweet and turned sour.

Steven even

Didn’t last for an hour.

You thought he was superior

To the guys that we were

Into.

I guess we’re

Even Steven with you.

DUM-DUM-DUM-DUM

Fuddy-duddy,

You had to be choosy.

Your study buddy

Is really a doozey.

He taught you how to feel like a worm.

This’ll be a question at the end of the term.

DUM-DUM-DUM-DUM

Even Steven

Turned out to be lousy.

He was your dreamboy

But you must have been drowsy.

You very nearly had us convinced

That the odds were against

Us, boo-hoo.

And now we’re

Even Steven with,

Now we’re even with,

We’re leavin’ Steven with you.

DUM!

ACT ONE FINALE

Sung by:

The Dorm Boys:

Oh. Pro,

Our life doesn’t start tomorrow.

You just smashed it up with a pow!

You’re really a menace.

Now look where you’ve led.

You’d better call Guinness

Before we’re all dead!

You must have the sword of a Zorro

To mark a grade I”Z” on your prow!

Oh, captain, our captain,

We followed your course

And here we are, trapped in

A sea of remorse!

Our life doesn’t start tomorrow.

You really have fucked it up now!

END OF ACT ONE

******************

Study Hall in an all-gay dorm (“Stud Hall”)

The cast

Some students actually study!

Some just flirt.

Some have lover’s spats.

The Hall Manager despairs of keeping order.

He begs the boys to behave for a newbie.

P.S.: They don’t.

The boys sing and dance to welcome a new arrival.

“Blue is for bioys, yes, blue is for boys…”

“…runnin’ around, breakin’ their toys…”

“…well, I always knew that roses must be red…”

“…but I never dreamed it could be true…”

“…that blue is for boys…”

“…and boys make you blue!”

Hazing the new arrival with camp costumes and cracks.

The lovestruck manager learns the
newbie is a hetero doing research.

The lovers’ confrontation.

Teasiing a student who’s “gravitationally challenged.”

A kindly millionaire comforts a student who has proved a dud at hustling.

The littlest student awed by the largest.

A forward pass at the new arrival.

The leather-lad laments his unresponsive crush.

Jordan Beswick as a serious student of XXX literature.

The great Neil Flanagan as the kindly millionaire.

From the 1981 production.

The newbie in 1981.

1981 lovers

The 1983 cast.

The 1986 cast.

1986 flyers

NYC1983

NYC1983

NYC1983

NYC1983